A Lifetime of Transformations isn't Natural

Nature is my true north. I immerse myself in it when I lose my way. Somehow it grounds me and slows me down and even makes me realize how small my worries are. The transformation that a butterfly has to go through has always reassured me that it is natural and necessary to work at reaching your full potential. My metamorphosis has been on repeat since I entered school. I reach a new plateau of development, I get comfortable in my protective casing, and then I feel compelled to break out of it for fear of being swallowed up in it forever so I begin the painful process of transitioning on to the next stage. It was an organic process at first as I was learning information and skills in order to thrive in my ever changing environment. But once I became a fully mature human with all of the markings of achievement, I didn't stop the ever changing cycle of change. In fact, it may have been on overdrive the older I got. I was caught up in the frenzy of self improvement bombarding me everyday in podcasts, social media, books, and everyday conversations. I lost my way.

My focus on continuous self development has left me in a state of chronic dissatisfaction with myself. Yes, it is important to be able to adapt in order to survive and thrive in our environment, but not at the expense of losing your true essence that was there the whole time.

I am returning back to nature to show me the way. A caterpillar morphs into a butterfly when it is time. It isn't natural to strive for transformation. Transformation unfolds organically, when we live in the present moment, interact with others, and enable ourselves to respond and grow in alignment with whatever life throws at us.

This year I am working on de-programming my striving and achievement cycle. I think I will start with appreciating the beauty of my life.